I’m waiting for you to scrub more dishes
So that I can rinse them and go
But you’re trying to catch snippets
Of Ramayana on the TV in the living room
So, I try to make a jokey joke
You know, “let’s finish this faster!”
And you know, just like that, the air in the kitchen rots like a banana
“why don’t you scrub them, clean them, while I pour water?”
And just like that you’re gone
I offer to switch sides, but you scoff
Because you’re already gone
Loving you is like playing minesweeper
Never knowing which tile will detonate
So in this moment I decide it can’t always be my fault.
Plot me a political map, ma
So I know which lines to not cross
Ma, are you listening?
Maybe you’re right
You shouldn’t be scrubbing pots after dinner at this age
How many cups did you soap in raising me?
Lord Ram being a goody two shoes on TV isn’t helping either.
“She deserves better” the thought passed my mind
When I walked past dad, feet propped up, playing farmville,
Munching biscuits you baked in the morning
because the nation is in lockdown, not the munching.
Remember last night, when I was mopping the floor
Jiya was wiping all the windows she could reach
You were also trying to keep standing
And dad yelled from the bedroom for tea?
Remember what you said?
You said you want to be reborn as a man
“To sit and order” mumma why
Can you believe in reincarnation but not yourself?
Remember earlier when Jiya and I were complaining
About the quantity of milk you try to pass off as “half a glass only”
You said “Sasural mein yaad karogi mujhe
jab saas poora bolkar aadha mug pakdayegi”
Why does it have to be that way?
Why can’t I buy my own milk?
Mumma who taught you to love every person you meet
But hate the ones you saw in the news?
I love dad, mumma, I am not attacking him
When i point out his misogny
I am not rebelling when i call out your biases
I am probably wrong, I know
You say I haven’t seen the world yet, I haven’t
I know mumma, where are you going?
Mumma I am scared to show you my rainbow
When just these blues make you turn your face
Mumma you are my whole world
Where will you go that I can’t follow?
You call me an “extremist feminist”
I am on your side!
I am fighting for the things you were never taught to ask for
“It is my fault you are so disrespectful”
Yes it is, for teaching me how to love myself
enough to burn bridges
Mumma listen, why won’t you listen?
I am waiting for you, standing next to you
Listen to the screams inside my head
Where are you running?
What about the forks?
Why do you blame me for wanting to run?
That Desperate Friend 